Working out the percentages

I walked through the door of Grindlebone's bar just after noon. When I checked with the nearest bartender, he/she/it told me that her boss was expecting me. A small floating light was produced, and I was told it would lead me to wherever Grin was. I was also warned not to go wandering off on my own. Not that I was inclined to; I hadn't made friends with Grin by abusing his good nature.

I had expected to be led up to his office, but the light first took me through an obscure, semi-hidden door, and then down into the bowels of the building. Even if I had been paying attention, I doubt I would have remembered all of the twists and turns of our route And I wasn't paying attention.

Now, as with most of the morning, I couldn't help but come back to the strange dream that had interrupted my sleep the night before. I don't recall ever having had such a vivid reverie, one that I could recall in perfect detail the next day. Everything about the experience, from the moment I found myself in the room where all of it occurred to when I seemed to be engulfed by the eyes of the 'angel', I remembered with perfect clarity. I knew I'd never been in that room before. I'd never met a real troll, and I had no idea who the other individual the angel had attacked was. And I damn sure had never come close to an angel. If it had faded into the half-memory that characterizes most dreams the day after they occur, it would just be one of those things. But I couldn't seem to shake this one off. All day, my thoughts had been dragged back to those eyes cutting into the center of me.

I came back to myself with a start, realizing I had no freaking clue where I was. I knew I'd just come down a circular stone stairway, and now I found myself in a tunnel that looked like it had been built for a movie of 'The Cask of Amontillado'. The brickwork was rough, and covered with moisture, and there was a regular dripping sound in the distance. As we came around a corner, I really expected we'd fetch up in front of an iron-banded wood door with a small grill set in it, which would be opened by a hooded hunchback that would conduct us down to an even lower level, where its master would be working feverishly to reanimate the dead.

Instead, turning the corner led us to a large, round, well lit room which we entered by mounting five stairs and passing through an open pair of large, heavy doors. Oh, well.

Along the wall to my left were about a half dozen small cells, four of which were occupied by four of the gunmen who had threatened Jack and I last night. The fifth cell's door was open, and it's inhabitant, the fifth and largest of the group, was secured to a chair in the middle of the room. His clothing, and the clothing of his comrades, showed that the various weapons that they had carried about their persons had been removed without much care.

The guy in the chair, who I'd mentally tagged 'Big Hairy' last night, looked pretty ticked off. His eyes were fixed on the upper left corner of the room, except for a moment when the flicked onto me, as I entered. Unless I was mistaken, a look of surprise crossed his face when he saw me.

Grin was off to the right, talking quietly with two other men by a table covered in various weapons and miscellaneous other items. He, too, looked up as I followed the glowing light into the room.

“Red! Good to see you, good to see you!” Grin's big hand engulfed mine as I joined the group by the table. Light glinted off of his shaved skull, and a wide smile shone out from the huge beard that blanketed most of his face. “I owe you a bit of thanks, my friend! Lucky you are you didn't stay about last night, or you'd have been subject to the same dressing down I gave poor Automatic Jack, for bringing trouble into my bar.”

“Well, it wasn't by choice that the trouble came to us, Grindlebone. You know we'd never do anything so unseemly as be threatened by strangers in your house if we could help it. I'd think you've known both of us long enough to have settled that in your mind.” I could never help but fall into Grindlebone's flowery style when I spoke directly to the man.

“Aye, aye,” Grin said, lowering his eyes and holding up a hand, “I do at that; I surely do. But having my patrons threatened, and friends to boot, got my blood to boil, and these lot,” waving his hand towards the captives, “were in no fit state for me to express my anger on, and poor Jack to the brunt of it. Rest assured, it'll be made up to him, as best I can. I daresay no small part of my ire rose from the fact that I had to be flagged as to what was going on. A good barkeep should never be anything but the first to know what goes on in his house, and I failed in that, and you could ha' paid the price for my mistake.”

“Grin, unless I miss my guess, the gentlemen currently enjoying your hospitality were not only armed for bear, but also set up with some sort of device or charm designed for the express purpose of letting them do what they came to do without alerting you it was being done.”

“Ah, Red, you're a man of amazin' perspicacity, indeed. They were holding no less than four items that allowed them to pass my security unnoticed.” Grin clapped a hand on the shoulder of the individual next to him. “Mr. Ix, here, has been looking over these most of the night, and thinks they'll be quite useful. Mr. Ix, I'd like you to meet Red Hand, the man indirectly responsible for our acquirin' this little bounty.”

Mr. Ix looked, at first glance, like a tall and very thin human with dark bluish skin. When I grasped the hand he held out to me, and looked more carefully at his face, it became obvious that his 'skin' was a chitinous exoskeleton. The smile he bestowed on me was formed by small sections of his facial structure being retracted to expose an impressive number of teeth, and I could make out what I thought were a pair of mandibles held closely against it's jawline. Mr. Ix's hand felt smooth and cool, and his grip was quite firm.

“Ix greets you. Ix expresses thanks to you for bringing forth both questions and answers, Crimson Manipulator. Much is being learned.” Mr. Ix chattered in a mixture of tones of various pitches, with the words I could understand issuing from a small disc that seemed to be attached to it's thorax.

“The pleasure is mine, Mr. Ix. I'm glad you'll get some use out of them.”

“Oh, that we will, sir. Mr. Ix is of the mind it'll make my already formidable security system even more effective, which is always welcome. And that's not the half of it, Red. These fellas...” Grindlebone waved again at the captives, “These fellas, it turns out, are wanted quite badly by certain folk. Do you remember that ugly little business what happened at the Null races on Charom a while back?”

“The grandstand, you mean? I thought the Chir-Meeno Front was behind that...”

“As did I, Red, as did I. Seems, though, that Chir-Meeno was a little too worried about getting their tiny nadgers cut off if they was to do the job personally, so they went an' hired themselves a few freelancers to do the heavy liftin' for 'em. Would ya like to make a small wager as to who these sorry little men got to do their evil for 'em?”

I gaped at Grin. “No. These guys?”

“Oh, ayuh. Even as we speak, a number of grim lookin', serious men with grim lookin', serious guns are coming our way with all due speed, with the intent of taking these gentlemen off to Charom. Where at they will no doubt be tried, convicted, and executed in short order, and in accordance with civilized law.”

“So,” I said, rubbing my jaw, “If these men are so important to the necessary satisfaction of justice for the Charomi, would I be entirely wrong in thinking that some small amount of legal tender would be offered by the Charomi for their delivery?”

Grin guffawed loudly, and said with a wolfish smile, “Red, you would in fact be entirely right, indeed you would. And because yourself and Jack were the reason that this windfall has come unto me, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if each of you didn't take, hmmmm, lessee... 5% of the bounty for these scoundrels.”

“Well, now. 5%, really?” I said, looking into the avuncular, fatherly face Grindlebone always wore when he was trying to get over on someone. “My word, Grin, I have to say, that is nice of you. Of course, 50% would be even nicer.”

The smile vanished from Grin's face, getting lost somewhere in the thicket of his beard, and the rest of his head turned pink. “50%! 50...” He roared, before catching himself. The effort of forcing his lips to smile again caused sweat to break out on his brow. “Oh, Red, you do like your jokes. I've always said you were a right funny lad. I see what you're saying I do. 5% is too small a cut, much too small, yes, and I think, in fairness, I couldn't see offering ya less than... 7%...”

By the time we'd managed to haggle to a solid 15% of the take, Grindlebone was covered in sweat and his smile was in tatters. But, that aside, I knew he thought he'd still managed to low-ball me.

“Apiece.” I said, as though it was an afterthought.

Grin went gray, and gaped like a just-gaffed fish. Before he could get a hold of himself and begin to flip his lid, I went on. “Now, Grin, you know it has to be 15% for both Jack and me. You know that. Adding all of this up, with 70% of the bounty, and most of these weapons and trinkets, here, you're coming out very much on top. And I know you want to get me down to 20% for Jack and I to split. Give us the extra 10%, and you still clear, what, same amount as four, maybe 5 days profit from the bar? Isn't that fair?”

While I was speaking, I could see Grin coming to grips with the idea. When I finished, there was a moment where I thought he might punch me, though.

“Fine. 30%, and you can pick over the gear. Ya thief.” He held out his hand and gave mine a bone cracking shake. “Yer lucky I like ya, Red.”

“Eh, it helps that you're a softy, Grin.” Grin got a nice belly laugh out of that.